Tin Dog
by Cearlya
Summary: I'm not the stupid tin dog yeah? But when she calls, like a good dog, I come running. That's how it's been and that's how it's always going to be.


Doctor Who

Micky's story one shot

Disclaimer: I own the rights to the words I use but not the subjects that I use them to describe.

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I'm not the stupid tin dog, yeah? But when she calls, like a good dog, I come running. Thats how it's been and thats how it's always going to name is Mickey Smith and I am trapped by blond hair and blue eyes in a never ending circle. She vanished into that stupid blue box for a year and I tried to go on with my life, but without Rose to laugh with, there was always something wrong. Something missing. Didn't help any that everyone thought I killed her. When she showed back up, acting like nuffin was different, she said it had only been a few days and oh, that was worse. A few days and she was over me, completely. She tried to say she wasn't, but I could see, I wasn't blind. I looked into her eyes and all I saw was him. Ever and always him.

He swanned off and left her, leaving her with me and I dared to think, maybe this was it. Maybe this was my big chance. I let myself have a little gloat, let her have the feeling that we all had been for the last twelve months. But no, he came back, sailing in, making everything better for her again, and making me look stupid. This time though, this time I wasn't useless, I was what they needed to get out. They needed me and it was brilliant. I saved her mum, I saved her, and still, even after almost getting blown up by a bomb as it went off around her, she still went back inside that thing. Back to him. At least they offered for me to come with them, this time. I proved I wasn't a useless lump, but I still wasn't needed by them, it was a politeness and nuffin else. I said no, I wasn't ready yet and that was the truth. It would hurt too much to go with them and always see her looking at him. She kissed me goodbye, but there wasn't anything like there used to be. It was kiss of friends, the kiss of death to a relationship. I sat on the pole there, opened the newspaper and waited.

She called me and I came, being the loyal dog that I am, I searched through her room for her passport. I had stopped at her closet to smell one of her sweaters and nearly fell over with the strength of the memories I'd been trying to forget. A very pretty boy answered the door of the TARDIS and while I was mostly alright now with the Doctor, having a bit of a think and knowing he's not attractive at all, this new one was another threat entirely. She took it from me, snarked at the Doctor and then I realized this was it. She was gone. This was the life she chose to lead and it didn't include me. She formed a team with these two men like superheros and me, the average joe was left behind.

They share the stories and I realize that they have had adventures people can only dream of. I felt a twinge in me, I wanted a bit to be part of it. I followed when they went after the other alien and felt a bit like a chump as they had it all down to a system. I mucked it up a bit, not used to the running and espionage, and I realized, I have to get better. I loved it, the chase and all that, it wasn't so bad being yelled at. I felt like a part of something and even though I bungled it, we got it in the end.

She gave me hope for a moment, letting me in on the secret that she wanted to see me. I hoped and hoped, flickering that part of me to life as she smiled. In a moment of insanity, I asked her to go to a date with me, and then a hotel. I missed the curve of her side, the smell of her hair with an almost painful ache. I wish the Doctor was watching as I took her off with me, surprised with her yes. She wouldn't let me go, trapped as I was by her pearly white smile.

She shares her stories about her travels, she doesn't shut up. I want to block my ears and shut out the stuff I missed, the stuff I'll never see. I tell her about Trisha to make her stop, let her know that I don't need her, that I got on with my life. She trips for a moment and shutters to a stop. It's all bunk then, the night, the plans and she goes off on me. I snap back. I finally crack and all the inner stuff comes out, showing her what she's done to me, what she's said that keeps me here, waiting for her. She finally realizes how much damage she's done. There is a sound and an earthquake, and she goes off running like she always does and I realize thats it. I think she might be running from me. I've got to go, move it on, but stop it with Trisha, it isn't fair. It isn't fair to her or to me. She comes back, but its over, the beautiful feeling turned sour, curdling in my chest.

It's gotten so I hear the engines and I come running. I had thought that was it, I was done. No more Rose Tyler for me. I love lying to meself. But he sent her back and was stuck on the other side of time, with no way to come get her, she couldn't get to him. My hopes rose, something uncurdled and came back to fresh. But she was broken, she wouldn't give up on him. There was something a bit empty now, but she was so much bigger now, unsatisfied with the lot of us. She was ruined for normal life and that's what I wanted, it's what I did. She made a speech and ran out, leaving me with her mum and she wouldn't give up. She gave up on me so easily, but he was dead and she still wouldn't give up.

I didn't recognize her anymore, she was talking like him, acting like him. The spats of nervous energy, despondent rest changing instantly into genius. He had changed her into something dangerously beautiful, she was no longer my Rose, but my Rose still stood there. She was willing to die for him and I was nuffin, she said so herself. I hated myself, but I'd lost her so long ago, it was time I accepted it instead of getting angry about it. It was time for me to get over her too.

I didn't hear from her for a long while, didn't know if she were alive or dead. I picked up my life and Jackie's and tried to put them back together again. We spent a lot more time together than we ever did when I was with Rose, trying to keep the other's chin up. Jackie was especially broken, and I did my best. I got a job, a good job. I enjoyed working at the shop. I still couldn't see girls because I dreamed of her at night, but it was a better life than the last one. I worked on the computer a lot more. I used the Doctor's buffalo password more and more, getting deeper into UNIT's archives and kept coming up Torchwood, but I stuck with it. I got better at computers than all of my mates and started talking with the real hacks. I even ran across a mate named T. who helped me get about a bit better.

Then it was Christmas, I heard them while at the shop with my mates and I made them all stop so I could listen. And I listened, I listened hard, to the strange sound of the crossed dimensions, time and space. Once you've heard that sound, you never forget it. I was better, I swore I was, but it was irresistible, see. I ran over in my jumpy and met with Jackie, there at the place it always was, and it nearly took my head off, landing in the garbage. Another strange man came out, and knew my name. I stared in disbelief, as he gripped my shirt, told me Merry Christmas and then keeled over.

Then there she was again, in the same clothes that she had left in, telling me that this strange man was the Doctor. In my head I felt resigned. This was the Doctor with a new face, a much more handsome face and without those ears that made him look right funny. I helped get him into the flat and then went home for a change. I came back and it was more like mates, the two of us. My insides went a bit funny, but I could now snark at her and I let her know I still cared. I didn't want to talk of the Doctor, but I listened until she drove me mental. I leant her twenty quid, and was surprised she wanted to pay me back. It was all great and dandy until the Santas started shooting at us.

Then it was run, run, run all the way, fast moving cars and an adventure. She took charge, moving us about. Christmas trees attacking and this time, I didn't run away, it was like with the other monster, I held my ground, I fought. I was getting good at the aliens and stuff, but he still saved us, responding to her voice immediately. Then I realized it wasn't just one way, it was him for her too. He went out even worse, and she was back to quietly despondent. She latched onto me, and all I could think of was how not fair it was, she was back in my arms, but her head was full of him. Then the world went mental, she decided to run, and I was all behind her on that one. In the TARDIS, we were good and she called me brave. We joked about her mums cooking and I realized that this was it. This was what the two of us would have for as long as the Doctor was around and he was never going to leave her. Then it was my first space ship, scary as anything, and Rose faced down the terror with a trembling voice. She was braver than me and I knew it. I knew that was what the Doctor loved about her, the ridiculously strong middle of her. I was proud, she wasn't mine, but she stepped forward to save us. This was the beginning of Rose as a strong warrior. Then he showed up and she was all right, better and less scared.

He went out all heroic, and saved us all within ten minutes. He was amazing to watch, able to stop the bad and fool about with Rose. He was much sillier than the other Doctor and not as mean. He was also much more interested in Rose, which she returned, no surprise. It was like watching a telly program though, not really real as he jumped about and saved everyone. He definitely took it less seriously and kept going off into pop culture. I wasn't sure to be scared anymore or not. He was silly and corny and I realized that this Doctor was a Doctor that Rose was going to love even more. He was everything that any woman wanted in a man and I felt a bit useless again. As I realized this, I buried it all deep inside and celebrated with them, holding Rose on my back as she jumped on me to celebrate. To celebrate him.

He stayed for dinner and we partied together. I realized that I was part of the team now, I was there when the earth was saved and I helped a bit, I think. I realized why Rose did what she did, it was brilliant, knowing that you were there when history changed. We had a lovely party and I managed to keep it all friend like and smile. I was part of the saved earth team and we all played together. I finally accepted that she was gone. I watched as she went with him and finally got it.

I saw the world change in an instant and I realized that I just witnessed history. Suddenly, normal life wasn't enough for me too, but I still had some more refining of my skills to do, and they needed some time alone. I would wait.

Things were quiet. I started noticing all the weird stuff and recording it. T. sent me some really weird articles and I eventually talked with Jackie. She gave me Rose's mobile and my hands shook as I dialed the strangely long digits. Her voice was the same, but happier, like they were on the run and she was loving every minute of it. But she came, for the first time, I called, and Rose came, not the other way around, well, he came too, but they trusted me. Rose thought everything was the same though, that I made it up just to bring her home, she was right flattered by that I can tell you, but I wouldn't have dared. Everywhere the Doctor went, there was trouble that followed. I was surprised that the Doctor brought her back, but I was the friend now, not even a threat. I was me, now, not Rose's boyfriend, I had a name and he got it right, Mickey. I was useful.

Then I was a bit rubbish and screamed when the rats fell on me. The Doctor wasn't mean any longer, but more teasing and Rose was more of a keeper than ever, making him shut it. I met the other Smith and she made Rose figure out she wasn't all as special as she thought. I had a bit of laugh as he had a problem as the girls began to squabble about him and he had every man's worst nightmare come true, the missus and the ex. I thought of Rose as his now.

Then I met the tin dog. I stared at K9 in confusion at the Doctor and the dog and continued to take the micky out of Rose as she got more and more jealous. I got in a little revenge for leaving me, putting the fear of the Doctor leaving her in her. I'll admit it, I bonded a bit with the other Smith as both of us had been abandoned and she explained a bit of the Doctor. She patted my shoulder as I realized I was the tin dog, good for nothing but working for the Doctor, then to be left by the wayside, broken and changed.

I wouldn't be the bloody tin dog, waiting for the master to return. Next time that ride was offered, I was going with them, I was going to make a difference on my own somewhere. If it wasnt' offered, I was going to ask.

The Doctor gave me a job, and for the first time, I did it right. I did it completely right and helped out. I was learning faster now, and doing well. I was ready now, I could take it on. Rose didn't look thrilled when I asked and I doubted for a moment whether I should. However, it wasn't about her anymore, it was about me, too, seeing the universe and all it had to offer. I was going to go and fight the good fight.

Rose didn't want me to go in the beginning, but she still touched me a lot, and I tried to ignore it and be useful. I tagged about to learn. I looked about, and tried to adjust. It felt as though my mind was being stretched into a shape it wasn't used to and I realized, there was no going back. Rose proved that there was never any going back. She brought me into her world and I tried to keep up, racing along with her as we discovered the ship together. It scared me, this world, but it was so brilliantly fantastic that I couldn't stay away.

Then I met him, I mean me. It was me only it wasn't me it was a me that was good and great and people liked him. It was the me that I wished I could be but couldn't because I just wasn't brave enough. And that was alright, because they had that me and I was back to being a tin dog and not really being needed much. Then they didn't have me and there was this great big hole in the world, a hole for London's most wanted for speeding tickets and they were left with this me. I could do computers, but that was it, I wasn't a leader, I didn't use a gun, I could hack into anything, but that was useless when a Cyberman was chasing you down. Jake hated me because I wasn't him, I wasn't Ricky, but that was alright because I hated me for not being Ricky.

Then I saved the world. Me. Me on a keyboard. Well, the Doctor told me what to do, but I actually did it. I had to change it all, I had to hack the system, get it all right while the Cyberman was trying to kill me and Jake. Jake was brilliant as we piloted the balloon and I got us all to safety. It was right, it was wonderful and I was me and not Ricky and I was great. I realized I was me, but I had become Ricky, someone so much better. I was both of us and so much better.

The problem with Rose, is that she always wanted me to be there, and be her friend, the person behind her, helping her along. Well, I could do so much here, and I had Gran. She had the Doctor, but she was wanted me to be there, but I was good here, good and so much more. That was the end of it. She cried and hugged me, but she left, like always. She left me behind and Jake and I went to France to make a difference.

One night, one cold, lonely night in the three years I was in the parallel world, I got so drunk I began to remember. Jake, my constant companion in the last years and now best mate, took the liquor away from me and patted me awkwardly on the back as I shook. He listened as I ranted about how I had been left without a care at first and she kept me hanging on for so long. He agreed with me when I called Rose horrible names and cursed, throwing things about the place. He listened as I moaned that I would never be free from her, because even now when I sleep, I dream. He didn't say much that night until the end, when I had mostly convinced myself that I was going to die a bachelor and soon, in battle with the Cybermen, when he pulled me up by the shirt. He pulled me up and then punched me about the face.

Right. He said. When you're finally done being a bloody prat about this girl, then come back to work because this is so much bigger than her and you and me and you've been letting it get to you. She's just a girl, and she might have been that one, that special one, but the universe is closed and she's never coming back.

The next morning I woke up with a black eye and a hangover. I took the day off of work and went to sit in the spot where the TARDIS had vanished for that last time. Jake was right, she was gone, probably forever and there was no point brooding on it. I came back to work and told Jake he was the best mate any bloke could have and he grinned. We set the record for successful missions after that.

I thought I escaped when I closed the universe behind me, but Rose proved that there was no escaping the Doctor's world. The Cybermen vanished, but it made me uneasy, not happy. When they traced the them to the other world, I applied for the ability to go ahead and stake it out. For the mission, but I wasn't fooling anyone and everyone knew that it was for Rose. For the chance to see her for one last time, for her to see who I'd become. I played it cool, when she went striding into the restricted section. She'd gotten good, but she had the Doctor to rely on and I'd gotten very good. I stood over the Doc's shoulder, putting a finger to my lips and her eyes just lit up like Guy Fawkes day.

I was doing good, I was doing real good, ignoring Rose and all, until I accidentally fell on the Ark and activated it. Not a moment of shining glory. It turned out alright in the end, but now Rose was here with me, a constant reminder, day after day, of something I thought I'd put away years ago. Her appearing here just made here bad.

I thought that after the entire walls of the universe closed between them, I would be the next in line, right? But it was always going to be the Doctor, it was never going to be me. I mean, I knew it, I'd even shouted that very thing myself years ago, I just never thought that I would actually put it to the test. I tried not to allow myself to hope but I did, just a little. But nothing ever came about it, she got the job at Torchwood and I tried to live my own life without her. Then the Doctor opened a crack and called her. She asked me to come with her to find it, and I couldn't say no. She thought of me as her best mate now and I couldn't abandon her, but Jake was furious. He knew what I was giving up to follow her, all my dignity, all my progress.

I knew she would tell the Doctor of the Tyler's new baby, I'd heard her rehearsing a bit of what she was going to say. I also knew that the way that she said it was awkward and when she reached that point, I looked up to the Doctor's eyes begging to kill me yet knowing it wasn't his place. Selfish bastard looked relieved when Rose clarified. He dumped her here, didn't try to get her out, but he didn't want her to be happy. Didn't want her with anybody else.

If anything, it was that scene that kept Rose looking. She hadn't given up when she thought he was dead, years in the future. Knowing that he was alive meant that impossible was only going to slow her down for a bit. Then she got more active in Torchwood and I saw her every day. We became Torchwood, her and me and Jake and Pete. She was head of research, and we got to see how much she'd picked up, traveling, and it was a lot. Seeing her everyday and knowing it was still impossible was a bit much for me. Jake had to take me out of the compound a few times, get me stuffed full of liquor just so I could throw it all up, all of the stuff that'd been going on. Jake was a good mate.

Then I found out exactly why Jake was a good mate the one time he allowed himself to get shit faced and he let me know exactly what Ricky was to him. It made it a bit uncomfortable and it was never the same. Then I realized that's why he was so good with me and Rose, I was wearing the face of his dead boyfriend, and pining after some other girl. He understood in a way and realized that the best thing for him if he couldn't have me would be to get out of the country. He left Torchwood, got his mind wiped and now works for the government somewhere, we aren't allowed to know where.

With Jake gone, there was nothing for me. Not here, not anymore. My gran passed a year before the stars started going out and I was left alone. Alone with Rose and the Tylers, a happy family and an empty shell coexisting in a world of Torchwood. Me and Jackie got along well, we still talked a lot, and I gave her a bit of free babysitting. When the second Doctor showed up, I knew what was going to happen. I figured it out, I'm not half dim. There was nuffin in that life for me anymore, and Rose and the Doctor would be better off without me, back to this life it was. This world, which didn't have Rose any more. The way I figure, if they're both on the same side of the walls between the universes, they'll stay put, yeah? I'll figure out something to do with myself.

But that was the end of it all, the end of my Rose. The last nail in the coffin you could say as she didn't even say goodbye, I slipped off without her knowing. I think it was better this way. I'm no dog, or if I am, I'm a free one and the name Rose Tyler doesn't make my heart skip anymore. I am a free man, I can go anywhere. Perhaps I'll check out this side's Torchwood, I did rather good at mine. I ran to catch up with Captain Jack and Martha.

"Hey, you two!" I grinned as they turned to look at me.

"Ugh, I thought I got rid of you." Jack said with a smile.

"Nah, I think I might stay for a bit. Keep you lot out of trouble." I put an arm around Martha and another around Jack.

"Alright, well, try to keep up." Martha said, jokingly serious. I paused to smile down at her brilliantly.

"Just watch me run, yeah? Just watch this tin dog run."


End file.
